Various Storms & Saints

Ice Castles...

Ice Castle

I can feel the ice cold emotions running through the walls of this castle...

I can hear your fierce howls like wind as they swirl past my skirt, 
 I brush the crumbling walls with my finger tips as I walk on

I think to myself, let the dust, brick and mortar fall!

This moment as time stands still, I gaze out the window of this turret and I ask myself if I've been in a deep winters sleep, maybe it's all been a dream

 I have witnessed countless moons passing by as well as too many to count settings of the sun
I have memory of each of them, burned deep within me soul

Still I wonder...

Has the beauty of my youth been held captive or just remained here from sheer will 

Have I been so caught up in the mesmerizing endless hallways, dark corners and hidden rooms to see its fierceness that feeds off my light

I have been nobodies prisoner but my own I suppose

Still I find myself endlessly in search of the the garden with glass walls, the garden that blooms all year in-spite of the frost that surrounds it

 I know it's here waiting to be found but my fatigue gets the best of me and I long for the walls to just come down

Something deep inside my soul drives me beyond my own strength  to keep going so I can quench my thirst one last time from the dew that drips from the withered leaves of its beauty
 This driving desire has placed me many times into the snare of loneliness, disappointment and defeat 

Still I wonder...

I wonder if all I've touched, craved and bathed myself in has all been a dream but then why have the colors of my memory not faded, nor the fragrance of your strength and beauty gone away from me

I wish to wake up now and walk out into the summers sun, yes if I am asleep someone wake me

Through blurred eyes I look out this window and find myself searching for a reflection off the glass that holds the treasures of my past, present and possibility 

Perhaps I am in search for the long stem beauty with it's thorns so plenty 

After all, I know how you long for the blood of my thumb but still, I reach for you anyway...

Ray LaMontagne - Let It Be Me

Still Here

Candy Cane Kisses

Holidays have a way of bringing out the best and worst in people. As for me, I love them and all that they entail. Christmas is my holiday of choice, the music, giving gifts to others, and acts of kindness being extended to perfect strangers.

I never have understood the people who find themselves depressed or out of sorts especially with the beauty and delight that come with all lights that shine with holiday sparkle.

Well, I didn't understand until this year
This year I  have had the unfortunate experience of loss and heartache in many areas of my life. 
It's the pain that comes to steal the brightness from my Christmas sparkle. 

Yes, I now have the understanding of why people may feel like hiding under their winter blanket's while waiting for the bright lights to come down, along with evergreen that invades their senses to be taken out to the curb

What I discovered is that the memories of what use to be during the holidays can hinder what the holidays may look like now in the present 

 So this year I decided to switch things up a bit. 
I no longer want to grieve about what was or what is no longer,
I want to rediscover a new way of making things sparkle. 

I have given up the same tree lot that I have frequented for over 25 years. I have not hung lights from every corner of my roof or hung evergreen garland in my home

I am however not choosing to forget the comfort of what use to be, but I am reinventing what can still be

I am choosing to throw my winter blanket aside and join the the laughter of my children

It doesn't mean that my grief and the pain of my broken heart is gone but Christmas has a way of wanting the best in all of us to shine like a beacon to the broken hearts of others. 

I want to find my laughter, my joy, my peace on Christmas morning stuffed all snug like a bug in my stocking or tucked under the tree wrapped and ready to be opened.

Tonight I stare into the light of the fire and suddenly with my hand over my heart I can feel the pain that continues to pierce it. 

I'm sure as I sleep tonight the memories of who and what I miss along with pictures of the days past will haunt me, they do nightly. When tomorrow comes, when I wake I will choose to participate in what God has gifted me with. The laughter of my children, taking in the fragrance of the day and even enjoying the music that fills the air of grocery stores shopping malls and family homes.

I will give my kids my candy cane kisses...

Vice Grip

Ever feel like your heart is being squeezed to the point where it takes your breath away?

That's what it feels like when your loved one betrays you, dies, lies, leaves or just runs into the arms of  life without you.

I love to write because it has always been a way of putting it all out there for me. I heal through my writing and the words that flow out of me. I recently discovered it can hurt others even when unattended, for that I am truly sorry. 
My words were never meant to expose one another's faults or imperfections but to expose the pain that this life dishes out and if I can help anyone else through my struggles and the victories found in them then it hasn't all been for nothing

I write about what this world takes from others. I also write about what this world has taken from me. The world can be so beautiful and yet so ugly and cruel. I hate to love it but love to hate it too

This life goes by so fast, I thought I knew who I was and who I would be, only to find out I am not what I thought, but I am still what I never imagined I could be.
Sounds confusing I know but its just the way I see it. In other words sometimes we think life is suppose to be one way and it ends up another and sometimes its better then we could ever imagined it ever being.

 Right now tonight, I am struggling with what the world is throwing at me
I'm consumed by fear, sadness, disappointment and worry
I feel alone and pretend I am not
So, I write...
My smile masks my pain and my laughter covers my tears
My need to stay busy covers my loss, but when the day is done and its quiet I have to deal with me and the way I feel about today 
So I write...

When I feel like my heart is being squeezed by a vice grip and I can't take a breath from the pain being so severe I write as tho it's my confession

 I look up and after I've poured myself out for all of heaven to hear, I lay down my pen or close my laptop then close my eyes 

I guess you can say I've handed my heart, with all it's mess and shattered pieces to my father to fix, mend and heal

My writing isn't about creating more pain but healing from it

Adele - You'll never see me again ( FULL leaked song )

"Inside Out" Yup this is my saying at the moment










Let's just say, I'm experiencing all of these feelings in my life at the moment...

Shell Shocked

I Miss You... 

To My Eternal Friend,

I close my eyes and see you standing at my door with a pizza in your hands for the family. It's your favorite with all the works. 

I see you laying In my big fluffy bed taking turns being the perfect listener.

 I Am Happy For You my precious friend but so sad that you've gone so soon.

Hugs, Laughter, Silly Jokes that is how I remember our days of ups and downs, hospital stays and holiday celebrations. 

 I see your eyes and all their sparkle when you smile. Your beautiful hands that reached out for others in need.

I will always remember you being a teacher of great compassion, love,  and an unstoppable giving Heart. 

Your drive to please our father and always feeling like not enough, when you my friend were always then, and always will be exactly who you were born to be, perfect, blameless and a lover of Jesus  

I even miss your brutal honesty, "yes I need more rest!"

I miss your midnight calls with prayer filled nights that spilled into the wee hours of the morning.

I miss YOU my dear friend.

I find comfort in knowing that I can look forward to hearing you one day welcoming me into my eternity while calling my name "Bobby!"

I laugh at the memory of you doing the Hula on the Santa Barbara shores or laying oil in all the stores

I look at the sky while driving and see you looking out the window calling out shapes of each white, pink and wisps of clouds floating by.

Our car rides filled with song and worship or deep discussions of what we all imagined Heaven to be like.

I think about you daily and continue to wonder about all the places that you are now I have yet to be...

 You are gone but Not gone. You are nowhere but everywhere! 

You will battle no more sickness, disappointments, worry, opposition, division, lack or bore. 

 My heart hurts and everyone you set eyes on here misses you 

I Miss you...

Adele - Hello

Creature of Darkness

How you suffer in the deepest pool of your thoughts

You are dragged down into the depths of deception why won't you
look up?

Look up toward the light! 

Swim to the surface where there is life, where there is hope

No, instead little dark creature,  you will choose the darkest depths to swim amongst what you cannot see,

To pretend there is nothing left for you to be.'

I've always imagined that you could see me through your fogged goggles you call eyes 

Your thoughts are on what you can not See but Feel,

Like your friend the slithering eel.

Is it the fatigue from countless hours of treading water of indecision that has cast its line of defeat onto you?  

hook line and sinker you have taken the bait of its deception.

Where is your fight? Swim! thrash!, push! and pull!

Instead you swim deeper, to colder waters, into its darkest depths hoping the line will snap but instead you find yourself unable to see what's in front of you.

 So fatigue comes for you once more and the blackness of nothing draws you near 

Wake up! Look Up! Swim! 
Swim toward the surface! Swim away from what has wrapped itself around you..


It seem forever that I have been out here patiently waiting in this life boat. I am growing tired thirsty and weary

yes...I am still sitting under the summer sun beating down my head with my heart feeling dried up and left for dead

  So I take a peek over, looking but catching no site of my lover 

I begin to wonder, is it time to pick up my oars against all hope to head for brighter shores....

The Knights Wind

Good Knight,

Its Late Tonight and Feels so Dark

The Air is Thick and Still Smells of the Rain we Had Earlier 

in The Day

I Lay Here with My Eyes Closed, Waiting for the Wind

 Where Are You? 

Where have You Drifted Too?

If I Stay Real Still then Maybe I Can Hear Your Whispers 

Floating By In the Nights Sky 

It's Been Quiet for Days Now, 

Not Even a Peep From the Evening Cricket

Maybe, If I Hold My Breath 

for Just a Moment I Might be Able to Hear Heavens Glory

I Feel Myself Adrift Heading Up & Into the Place of Possibility 

It's Your Voice that Draws Me Near to You

 Its the Whispers in the Night That Pull Me Upward and 

Out My Window 

I Catch a Ride on the Winds Current to Reach Your Destiny

I feel as tho I am Home

Maybe Just one more Walk Around the Lavender Trees Before 

I'm Swept Up and Taken Back 

Perhaps A Bit of Manna that I can Take with Me for 

My Weary Journey, 

One more Memory to Wake 
with 

Where Nothing but the Breathtaking Sight 

of the Lavender Trees Exist 

where I will Remember the Smell 

on These Familiar Walks 

of

Amber Honey

Is it Possible for this Fragrance to Wrap Itself 

Around me Again, 

Bringing Comfort, Peace and Total Absolution 

Maybe Just One More Glimpse Before Consciousness Takes Me Back to a Place 

Where There Is No Knight but Only Darkness

The Great Debate

I look to my right and see an old friend, the moon who has come to visit at my  window. 
It is a cruel reminder to me that others have answered its call with sleep and its invitation to some precious slumber 
for me the night crawls by. Its shine is taunting 
I hear the tick tock of the nearest clock
I hear the dogs breathing close by 
I hear the voices in my head debating the day and the events of the week.
My body yearns for sleep but my mind is still busy withs its feverish debate. 

Shhh sleep already, dawn is coming

the night air is thick and gives no room to breath, where is the breeze and its precious relief

Tick Tock, Tick Tick, Dogs Breathing, Tick Tock, Dogs Breathing, Moon Shining, Tick Tick! UGH!

Ok mind settle this continuous argument already!
 lets call it a night. Please...

Tick Tock Dogs Breathing, Tick Tock, Moon Shining, Tick Tock, Tick Tock

I put the pillow over my head

I close my eyes in surrender thinking this is it, my moment but my body decides otherwise and decides It will meet dawn face to face

I am walking through this house while others are laying in their beds dreaming. I wonder what of and suddenly I am so alone in all this darkness, until I hear a new song. 

Refrigerator Ping Ping, Wall Clock Tick Tock, House Creak Creak, My Heart Thump Thump 

it's as if the house is waking with me I suppose,
so why not welcome dawn together oh, and let me not to forget the sound and smell of another friend, 
coffee...

The Threads That Bind Us

His love covers you, surrounds you, it literally encompasses itself around us. we are intricately woven across one another.

Have you ever noticed when a loved one is sick or hurting how your heart and spirit grieves for their pain?

Have you walked passed a complete stranger and noticed that they were weeping?  Did your heart leap for them?Did something inside of you have the need to help them?

How about when someone you care about fails at something they care about, Do you feel the disappointment they feel? I do. I want to help them to succeed.

It's the thread that binds us together I am sure.

yes, complete strangers matter to me. 
I know It can't just be me being an average person that drives me to care about the strangers of this world. it isnt     something that I was born with, or is it?

Maybe it's the moment that I accepted the Lord Jesus Christ into my life and was reborn. Yes, maybe that is when I could see clearly for the first time in my existence. I could feel and see the things of this earth clearly without obstruction.
 I could feel the pull of my brothers and sisters all around me. In stores, shopping malls, hospitals, airports, schools, restaurants etc.

 I hear you, I feel you and know you are there, not in the flesh of course but in spirit.

 What a blanket of beauty and color You all are!

YOU are the Amber Golden thread of His Glory

YOU are his Red the color of His Shed Blood, the thread of Love

 YOU are the Blue thread, the color of 
His Beautiful Holy Light, that makes its way in and over the lives of us and others

YOU are His White thread, the color of His Purifying Spirit that lives in us the moment we say, "yes"

 YOU are the Purple thread of Royalty, the thread that stands as a remembrance, That we are children of the Most High King!

The Silver thread is the thread of Our father Himself, It is the Strength of His Ministry in each of us

The Muti Colored thread is the thread of our Father's Promise, it is the thread of His Covenant with us

 I see a Beautiful robe being tied, knotted, and carefully woven. The fabric of our beings

Before it can be completed, it will take the Unity of the All the threads to make the robe durable, completed, with all it's royal finishes. It is a calculated plan of Beauty, Length and Width  

I will greatly rejoice in the Lord, my soul will exult in my God; for he has clothed me with the garments of salvation, He has covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decks himself with a garland, and a as a bride adorns herself with jewels.

Isaiah 61:10 amp

He exclaimed O my love, how beautiful you are! There is no flaw in you!

Song of Solomon 4:7 amp

KEEPING TIME

I have a clock that lays up against the wall collecting dust from the day and the shadows that conceal its purpose throughout the night.

it use to remind me of things to do but now it just reminds me of whats been done, It's a reminder of whats been lost and won

If we all knew then what we know now would it change anything? 
would we have changed our circumstances now or slip right back into the countless hours of it all again

I long for the days of the chime ringing to the tune of get up! life is waiting for you today, get up! go enjoy and explore!

Today, let it not be a pillow going over the ears day. Let me not have the need to block out the clocks invitation to participate in another day.  

Time is a tricky thing, we long for it, We mourn it, we celebrate it, and we dread it. 

I am a collector of clock's
Maybe its my effort to collect more time, 
to control it somehow or to preserve it in a way
that's now become a part of my day 

Maybe its time for a yard sale, a yard sale of time.
"Get your Time here All at Yard Sale prices! "
If only it were all so easy.

I look around this house and all its time keepers hanging and sitting about and see the dust gathering, including the un wound clocks that await my gentle hand and it makes me wonder if this is all a revelation or just another job waiting to get done.

Maybe if I stop the hands on all my time pieces, then time will come to a halt so I can catch up

Maybe if I turn back the hands...

Maybe...
Just maybe I can get it all back, or right the wrongs from the days gone by

Chimes, buzzers, music, beeps, cuckoo's and chimes 

Time marches on even if I don't get up to wind them, set them or restart them

Clock's are the ultimate invitation to life and the most painful reminder if we miss the party to it...

Love is...

 Like the Flower that Sits on the Side of a Cactus

Its, the Walk Across the Hot Beach Sand on Your Way Back to the Car 

It's the First Taste of Ice Cream

It's the First Roller Coaster Ride with Arms up 

It's the Jelly Bean Chosen with Closed Eyes 

It's a Star Sailing Across the Nights Sky

It's the Gum Under Restaurant Tables

It's a Puppies Kiss

It's Running Out of Gas on a Hot Summers day

It's Winter by the Crackling Fire,

a Splinter Under Your Nail

Is your First Snow Angel

It's the Champagne Bubbles that Tickle Your Nose

It's the Last Drop of Rain,

and the First Sunrise

Broken Toy Soldier

I remember holding you in my hand, you were new, 

 red, white and pretty blue

Oh, so perfect with not even the slightest scratch on you

Your shoulders strong, squared back with such authority,
always marching to and from with top priority

 What happened, what went wrong my little boy blue to all your lovely new?

I hold you now and it saddens me to see 

how worn you are

 Your shine is all but gone now and your color has faded,

You have deep dented scratches of someone jaded

To many years gone bye of being tossed about, 
lost and downtrodden but never forgotten

My mind wonders how they all became so apparent, 

your scratches and damage that were done.
 you know, where there use to be none

How high was the place where you first fell from?

Toy Soldier, how I yearn to find the right key,

 that will wind you up and bring life again to you and me. 

The possibility of what could still be there, 

seems to rarely appear

Your eyes have lost their outward search of hope and glory,

 and cast their gaze instead on what's dark and gory 

I have seen your worth and I have no desire for a replacement, so I will wash, love and mend you the best I can, 

So you are not treated as some tin can

Toy Soldier, I do see a future of restoration 

so I will place you on the shelf of safety and preservation. 

You see, I am in need of tender care myself

 I am never far but always near, 
watching over what I hold so dear

You can fall no more, or be mistreated by the hands of others. You will not be overlooked in a dark cabinet of your past but stand free in the future of the warm sunlight that streams in from the window of possibility. 

How about, You find your shine, 

fade no more, and I my beating heart 

Together we will let the toy maker who has made us all,
be your key and me his doll

So when I myself have been made new with no

 scratches to see, or dents to mend on me, 

Then again I will be ready for the odd beat of the,
 rum tum tum of my toy soldiers drum 

LOST IN THE ATLANTIC

Ever feel like you have been dropped in the middle of the Atlantic by the backside of a carrier pigeon?

Well, that's how I feel sometimes. My legs kicking beneath the cold water, my arms moving back and forth like the wet wings of a fallen bird, while the warm sun beats down on my head. I look to the north and see clouds, I glance to the south and see no land. I yell for someone, for anybody but still not a soul insight. 

I hold on to the hope that at any moment a ship could come by and pull me from this water, so I keep kicking. Because I choose to hold on. I choose to wait for the ship I can not see.

I am kicking away when fear begins to set in and what is soon to follow is hours of tormenting shadows of doubt that take shape of sharks beneath me. Do I keep kicking or should I remain still is the question that plays on repeat.

 The minutes go by, so do the days and yet I am still waiting for some kind of change. Maybe I can catch the current and head in a new direction. Maybe this thirst will be quenched with the clouds swiftly coming in from the north. Hold on, help is coming.

The hardest moments come at night when its just the stillness of the water, the stars above, what swims beneath me, the vast silence, and growing noise in my mind.  
My thoughts are consumed with what will come when the sun returns again tomorrow. I am overwhelmed by what challenges I will again be faced with. 

A person doesn't know what they are truly made of until they are dropped into a life altering situation.
Its when we find out if we are built to survive or believe the lie that its time to die and just let circumstance have its way. 

I have always been a survivor and I will not let shadows of doubt consume me. I will keep fighting and holding on to hope for my ship, for my rescue...

Psalm 144:7 amp 
Stretch forth Your hand from above; rescue me and deliver out of great waters, from the hand of the hostile enemies.

Ezekiel 34:12 amp
As a shepherd seeks out his sheep in the day that he is among his flock that are scattered, so will I seek out My sheep; and I will rescue them out of all places where they have been scattered in the day of clouds and thick darkness.

Dust Storm 

My legs ache, and my head throbs while my lungs fill up with some un wanted dust particles of the day.
My mind screams, " I'm tired, take me to the nearest beach and lets disappear into the mass crowd of strangers. Let's forget all you have to do today, jump into the car and let's just go!"

Dogs barking, phones ringing, texts chiming, kids laughing, TVs blaring, and the door bell snaps me back into my unwelcome reality.

 I notice over the UPS drivers shoulder that the wind is starting to kick up.
Maybe today this dry desert will get some long awaited rain.

 I close the door and my thoughts drift off again to the white beaches with turquoise water that I sat on too long ago.

I think what pulled my attention to distant memories today was the moment I first looked outside this morning.
It was when I looked up into this mornings sky, that it reminded me of the water around the Island of Saint Thomas, that sits in middle of the Caribbean. The pale clouds reminded me of the white sanded beaches that make up the shores of Nassau.

 Dreaming while awake is a bit counter productive don't you think?

This week I am on my own vacation of sorts. I have created my very own Island get away the (stay cation). I get to disappear on the island of house hold projects, dirty laundry, house cleaning, animal chores, bills and lets not forget cleaning the pool. I would say this vacation of mine will not recharge any batteries and provide some much needed rest but what the heck that's why we have sleep right?

I can hear the wind outside again. I step outside to look for rain when I hear thunder and lightening that reminds me of my trips to Florida so I close my eyes and I am transported there.
I am sitting around my brothers backyard and I can hear the laughter of children.
I can see my precious brothers smile as we share stories of the past. I hear his wife announcing that dinner is ready and as I look up, I see her beautiful smile through the kitchen window.

I wipe my cheek and look up assuming the rain has started to fall. My disappointment sets in when I realize its only my tears of longing.

Lightening snaps and thunder shakes the skies. I hear a roar over head and I know the sound is only a plane flying off to some unknown destination.

Maybe it's headed to Oregon, where I could be sitting at the table out front of my other brothers home while watching my nephews ride bikes. I can smell his cigar and see the ice melt in his cocktail.
I can see his flowers blooming and the colors are a vibrant purple. I laugh thinking of the sound he makes when he giggles while he recalls a joke from earlier that day. His giggles intensify while he attempts to deliver the joke as well as he heard it earlier in the day. The joke always falling a bit flat but we laugh anyway at his efforts.

I hear my beautiful son call out for food and I am again snapped back into my day and the chores that lie ahead.

While I dust over the pictures of my family I feel a deep appreciation for my position as wife and mother. I feel overwhelmed by sadness, loss, joy, and all that God has done for me.
I am at peace with my choices as I pick up speed wiping away the dust that has found its way into my home. Cartoons play in the background while my son sits teasing the dogs at the breakfast table.

 I look up at some transparent place of gratitude, Tears fall but so does the rain. It fell all day today, So did the rain...

Hope

Hope Is A Thing That For Some People Can Be Air itself or To Others Can Take On The Very Heart Beat That Sustains Them.

With Hope I Feel Like I Can Arrive At Any Destination But Without It I'm Truly Lost...

Now therefore, do not be afraid. I will provide for support you and your little ones. And he comforted them imparting cheer, hope, strength and spoke to their hearts kindly.

Gen 50:21 amp

My soul, wait only upon God and silently submit to Him; for my hope and expectation are from Him

Psalm 62:5

You are my hiding place and my shield; I hope in Your word

psalm32:7 91:11

I wait for the Lord, I expectantly wait, and in His word do I hope

Psalm 130:5 amp

MIDNIGHT STARS

Busy Mind, Numb Heart, Blurred Vision 
Corrupt Thoughts. Giant Keeps Telling Me Over and Over Again, Girl you Will Never Win but the Voice of Truth Says Do not Be Afraid, Listen to the Voice of Jesus, Let Him Lead You...
Why is the Youth Wasted on the Young? What a Time of Wonder and Beauty that Goes un noticed By our eyes
Look up! Look Forward, Never Back...
When I Look up at First I see the Vast Darkness but Then I see All the Stars and All The Possibility. 
I guess I find My Hope In All That I can't See...
Heb 11:1

A Child Journey

A Childs Journey

Recently during a Sunday morning church service, I watched a small child walk up the steps of the musicians platform. As the little boy walked up the steps I noticed his little head was tilted upward toward his goal. His goal I believed to be was the musicians that sounded like something from heaven. 
He never stumbled, he never wavered, he just climbed up, further and further to his goal. When this small child of maybe 2yrs of age reached his goal he raised his hands to the heavens and celebrated with a huge smile plastered across his face. The child then turned around and put his head down, looked back from where he came from and began his journey back to the beginning from where he started, but this time he needed to hold on to the railing to go back, all the while being unsure of his steps. The little boy reached the bottom but on his face was no smile of celebration but a look of un fulfillment. 
In a flash of a moment the little boy decided the beginning was not for him so he with a blissful smile headed back up again with no help from the railing but with a focused determination for the top step. 
So with his eyes lifted high he began his journey and again when he arrived he celebrated with dance and praise with his arms held high!

Revelation: when we keep our eyes on Jesus and Heavenly things our journey is easier, we reach our goal with joy and praise. when we look back we must hold onto earthly things to get us through. 
What are you or I holding on to that we need to let go of? What must it take to turn our faces around to heaven and to achieve our goals?
 Matthew 18:3 says to become like the children, trusting, loving, forgiving, to turn about.

Let us raise our heads toward heaven and climb toward him! Not staying focused on the

journey or the struggle of it but Jesus, and him alone...

30 Days of GoodBye

30 Days of Goodbye

Should this feel like 30 days of goodbye?
Or Like being dropped off at Circus Themed summer camp or worse yet, the door of a rehab. What a circus! "Step right up to 28 days to break the bad habit of loving each other badly!"

Do I chase after the car or hold on to the camp councilor of hope and despair? 
I will stand watching as the car pulls away from the shelter of my heart.

Day One: A decision has been made and the junkies of denial, misery and devotion have agreed. 
Its been the day of disbelief and if I admitted it, 
even some relief.

I'm holding the secrets of my heart as you storm the gates with your sword of angry desperation but I hold my ground of righteous denial ..

Doubt, Tears and Fear....I'm going to pick up the phone, I'm going to send a text a message of my love and pour out my worry just to hear your voice, the voice that might calm the possibilities of what if?

Day 2 : Today I worshiped my father,  I am on my way to hear the news from yet another future keeper. First stop Java for the nerves, make it large with an extra shot of courage please.
This drive seems quiet, but so alive with noise and I am glad it drowns the sounds of my solitude.
"Father I will trust in you and for all that has been written for us"
Us?...

Tonight I feel your spirit floating around me, I feel your thoughts swimming my way, they consume the air in which I struggle 
to take in. 
My spirit woke me as it called out for you...Its early the birds are fast asleep and I hear your heart from miles away. I will lay here and take your memory in. Rest calls my name...

 I've cleansed scraped knees, bound wounded elbows, wiped tears and hugged out the bruised pride of our beauty leaving no band aid for my aching soul...

Day 3:
I think the need to clarify what has been left behind during the following 30days far out weighs the consequences of a broken rules of our rehab.  So today lets see each other, laugh, cry, tap our feet to the rhythm of our hearts? but let's not look ahead to tomorrow but let us stay in the moment of us.
Maybe if we hold our gaze long enough the distractions of the storm will settle, the blue skies will appear long enough to see some amazing stars

Day 4: Is Day 1: And so it all begins again consequences and rules of hello's & goodbyes.

To Be Continued...

A Childs Dream

(Taylour's Dream)

I approached her in the wee hours of the morning, it was in an open meadow of beautiful flowers, filled with beauty fluttering all around us.

Her shoulder length hair was illuminated by amber light streaming through the branches of nearby trees. She was adorned with her classic smile that we all know her for. 

Her beauty was hard not to admire.

 Sickness was nowhere to be found! 

As I approached her she welcomed me with, "Hello SunShine, Come sit with me and see the blue birds overhead" I said, but I see nothing. Her reply was just close your eyes and believe and you will see the blue birds flying over us" and I did...

She was beautiful her message to me was this; There are a lot of ugly things in the world but if you choose to take a moment to find your faith, your eyes will see the beauty instead of all the ugly...