I heard the plan of your heart beneath my ear

You call yourself a fighter but run away from the battle

Are you listening?

Are you wondering where we will end up?

 You never could read the compass of my heart

I am pulled to the corners of the earth and am spread about by your wind

Im scared so scared....where is my army?

When I hear I love you, My ears are drowned out by the sound of your feet fleeing to the South

I come from your North 

when you say you love me....I only hear your regret

When you say you love me I only hear your blame

Where have you been my whole life? 

So tired of all this strife...

I bring so little to your life, so be free

I will take your bullet and set the snare loose
 your feet are free to run

 Whispers...

Whispers that scratch and claw their way over your shoulder and into your ear
you can be looking at yourself in the mirror or be standing in the grocery store checkout line, but it's when you least expect it that's when the whispers slither 
their way in

It's the whispers that come with pictures, feelings, memories and painful disappointment. The lying whispers that crawl into your mind with idea's of how to self inflict more pain, disappointment, and self loathing.

I hear the music of hypnotic lies and they are deafening

 If you begin to believe what you are hearing even for the briefest moment the whispers become a voice that shouts all your failures and doubts.

When the whispers roll in I can chose to reach for your sweet melody that quiets the voices and sings sweet numbing embellishments to my soul

your size so insignificant but the space you consume so vast

It's a comforting warmth as it swims down through the corridors of my body
eye's feeling heavy and I slip down into the space of nothingness and fade away from it all

Sweet dreams...

Dreaming if only for a moment where a symphony of light, truth and a clarity produces a feeling of lasting love

The sun is my alarm clock with its heat beckoning me to join the day of smiles, laughter and the veil of roll play 

I am aware of the choices, aware of what is music and what is just an illusion of song

 Whispers are the guards of confusion, here to protect their investment of lies   

I know a sprinkle of despair is always standing in the shadows willing to participate if given the chance

I choose instead to close my eyes and dream...

Do you ever hear the whispers?

Moon Lit Water Shimmering Off the Bridge of Beauty

I close my eyes and see black boots tracking across the bridge of gold
The adventurous come to walk acrossed it, the lost come to end it with one swift leap from a man made tower of lies and desperation.

It's beauty is as massive as the emotions that lead the droves across its belly. One behind the other, bumper touching bumper, horns blowing, air thick with gasoline, helicopters whizzing about, sail boat's carelessly floating by.

My heels hurt and the blisters are a reminder of my poor choice of foot wear today.

Looking up I see another suicide sign in a thicket of cameras that search the ropes of the bridge. I wonder what the person is like working behind the lens of that camera looking out for the brave and the hopeless sky diver. It's that thought of the lost one that stands there on the edge who is willing and able to end it all that touches my soul.
I am cold, it sends shivers down my back with thoughts of standing on the edge with them while the wind beats across my chest.

Cold wind rips past me as fast as the pictures snapped by tourists standing near by. People from every nation hoping to capture their moment that will go home with them along with their hope of returning.

Scarves, gloves, long wool coats, row houses, smell of crab & fish,
 fresh baked bread that hovers in the air enticing hunger yes!
Shops of every sort, water front and seals that come to visit,
street vendors, professional beggars, music so loud and crowds even bigger.

Wines poured, glasses filled, and the fragrance of grapes, soil and earth at every stop.
Lets hop along the train ride of laughter, beauty and romance and lose ourselves, even for a brief moment of what if

Palace hotel fit for a king & queen, walks for miles, hot baths, rose covered beds, doormen with whistles, rental cars, trolley rides, Polk St. three story, a city to discover on every corner,
sidewalk performers, dinner with friends, boat rides, prison visits, dinner under the water,

memories in a light house, exploring old military forts, photographers dream, remembering childhood    family that lie beneath the oak, Baudoin bread bowls filled with clam chowder, butter, an extra large coke, hot coffee, carousel ponies on the wind chilled pier, hands held, lips kissed, memories made

Another day comes, planes depart and home awaits our arrival, goodbye San Francisco until next time...

Snow Fall

It falls so freely, covering branches, leaves, tops of cars and everything breathing scatters

You leave me cold without color and when I open my eyes what once had color is now black and white but yet still not void of beauty

You have made things fragile and if stepped upon what's left will be blackened from the memory of where I've walked

Still looking up, I wait 

A clear chilled breeze blows past my ear and I feel you coming, free falling

As you hit the tops of my shoulders I am filled with your pain 

A pain that I volunteer myself to take so the memory of its beauty and wonder is never forgotten  

I am cold, wet, shivering with fatigue 

 The darkness found me and has set in, all light has gone

Its time for me to step into warmth, and a blanket of rest...

Good Night 

Discarded love...

Its all You've Ever Wanted and You have Been Given More then Most 

They turned Their backs on you and They Stare into the Mirror of Selfishness so
they Cannot See You. 
They See Only their Failure, in Themselves Not you

Do You See Me?

Have You Ever Seen Me?

I'm the Light over your Shoulder 
the Voice in Your Head
the Ache in Your Heart

They Are the Pain in Your Chest 
the Tickle in Your Throat that Can't be Scratched
the Tooth Ache that was Never Taken Care of

I am the Tear down Your Cheek
the Dreams that you Push away as You Sleep

They are the Dream, Joy, and Laughter Thieves 
The Pain in your Joints, the Bleeding Fingers and Sore Feet

I am the Giver, Lover, Encourager, Friend and Hope

They are the Lie, Disappointment and the Box You Live in

I am the Freedom and Imagination of Possibility 

I have been Thrown Away, Given Up on, While You Still Hold Out Hope For Their Love that Will Never Come

You Are Filled with Light, Love Compassion and Were Born to BE A Warrior 
You are A Wonder, a Gift and A Leader 
You are Born to Be and will Be Again...

Yesterday, Today, & Tomorrow For Eternity

War Of My Life (Acoustic) - John Mayer

James Taylor - Fire and Rain, Live 1970

Injury



How Does Something Hurt That Leaves No Visual Mark

Take Your Hand Off My Heart

Pry Your Long Fair Fingers From Around My Neck

Let the Wind Carry Back Your Words

The Words That Threaten to Erase Me

Give Back the Words You Stole From the Happy Memory Book of My Mind

Give Back Your Caress and Adoration

Send Me a Telegram Of Fond Memories Wrapped in the Red Ribbon Of Love

Sweep The Dust Of Disappoint Away From Me And Water the Plants Of Life Left

Hand Me The Moon Surrounded By the Stars

Take Away The Fear Of Goodbye

Find me The Tree Of Promises So I can Pull it Up by The Roots

Dig Up the Death of Sorrow and Give Breath Back to What was Once Tomorrow

Hang the Thieves of Betrayal, Lies, Sickness & Selfishness

Give Birth to the Talented Art of Creation

What about A Cup of Hot Milk and Tea
Served In A Pretty Cup & Saucer For Me

Pack Away the Nights of Absence

Is It Possible To Sell off The Game of Blame

Can One Stay Asleep Until Heaven Calls

The Shadows of the day that Bring the Prediction of Changing Seasons Will Be Silenced

One Less Chair, One Less Plate, One Less...

You Bleed The Color Cruelty `

The Effort to Kick Away the Rabid Dog of Depression does
little To Discourage its Persuit

I Will Slice Away At The Rotting Parts Of Love That have Tainted The Taste Of Tomorrow

Shatter The Mirror of Unworthiness But Keep the Pieces Of Shattered Glass Away from my Wrists

The Ache Cannot have what No Longer Belongs to It or Can It

Tired Eyes Blurred Sky's

Give the Emotion your Ticket and Hop up On The Ferris Wheel Of Sadness

My Eye's are Dry, My Heart Tired and The Thoughts of Tomorrow Carry A weight Of Dread So I am Off to Bed

Sign here...

You're a Fighter and Have Been a Scraper Most of Your Life,
 Filled with Turmoil and Strife but Were Given a Beautiful Life

It Started Out Rough Consumed by Abandonment and Pain, But I Was Suppose to Work Out For Your Gain

Its Hot in This Summer Sun

Our Youth, When a Month was a Year
A Week Like a Month
A Day Seemed Like Forever

You Were So Handsome, Cocky & Young,
"Lean in Beauty to Give ME a Kiss, Why Should I Have to Miss"
Two Silly Boys on a Moped Passing by Leaving Behind Laughter and The Summer Sky

Cold Winters Night
Walking Through the House of a Stranger, a Party is Underway
You're in The Hall Blocking my Path with That Hypnotic Laugh Coming From the Bottom of Whatever Bottle You've just Conquered
You Pick up A Can and Throw it at Me to Grab my Attention but I Make No Mention

It's Warm Waiting Out Here for The Bell to Ring
Calling for Something in My Miserable Life to Make me Wanna Sing

I See You..her Yelling, You Then Turn, Smile and
Our Eyes Locked For the Briefest Moment but I Thought if Given the Chance
I Would Make You Smile for Years After Our Wedding Dance

I Wish we Had More Days Left Like Those that Lasted Longer Then a Glance While Passing From Class to Class

A Grey Car Pulls Up a Corvette In Fact With Bald Heads Piled High, I was sitting beneath a tree Looking Up at the Sky when You and Another Said, Look at That, Then As I Smiled, You Drove Away While Looking Back My Way

Never Imagining One Day You and Me Would be Sitting Beneath Our Own Little Tree

 Years Have Passed and I Have Grown,
 at The Time Was Living on My Own.
Then There's You, Still All Handsome, Chiseled and Young, Silly, Funny While Playing Dumb

Tonight With Swollen Eye's, I Recollect a Winters Night Beneath the Holiday Tree, Garlic, Laughter, Long Talks, Music, Brief Goodbyes and Promises of More Jeep Rides

Flowers, Car Washes, Hugs, Cold Nights, Walks, Talks into the Wee Hours, More Flowers, Your Body Warming my Hands, Morning Approaching and Reality of the Day Encroaching

Weddings, Birthdays, Christmas, Thanksgivings, Anniversary, and Death
We Touched With the Time that I call Yours and Mine

As I Sit Tonight and Reflect I see, Diving Boards, Summer Swims, Bbq's, First Fights, Lover's Delights, Vacations, StayCations, Pets, Debts, Apartments, Homes and Life Lesson's that all Flew By Over A Blink of An Eye,
If Only I Could Simply Press Rewind on your Old Tape Deck For one More Kiss Upon my Neck

We Had It All, Lost It All, Lost Each Other, at Times to Another if that be Drugs or Other
Always Running Never Just Walking
I cried, You Stopped Talking
Always Hating Never Creating Struggling to Grow Up while Debating

Disappointments, Forgiveness, Grace, Mercy, Sickness, Betrayals & Lies
all Undoing Our Marital Ties

Forgiveness, Love, Pain, Heartbreak, Laughter Discovery & Hope

Cracked, Broken, Lost, and Alone, Too Much Still UnSpoken,
One More Go, One More Round
Let's Just Sit Again Under This Moon for Morning Will Come too Soon

What I thought I Knew, I Never Did Because How You Really Felt You Hid

What Was Once Mine, Has Been Reduced To
Sign on the Dotted Line.....

The Robe...

The other day while sitting in church I heard the phrase, 
"The Warmth of the Robe".
Now to some people that phrase might seem like nothing but a few words in a sentence but to others
 like a warm summer sun after a long winter's night

                 For me it was the latter, it brought comfort to my spirit

While I sat in that red church pew, feeling half present, absent in thought and overwhelmed by what tomorrow held for my life, some simple words made me feel better.

I needed a fathers love to bring me peace~

Peace is what came to me on a Sunday morning, not by the mornings sermon or any testimony but by the last five words at the end of sentence

 When I heard them I was reminded of the simplicity of Gods love for me, for us all ~

                the vision of the fathers robe as he walks past us in a crowd and the warmth of his presence remaining long after he has passed by

I know he loves me and no matter what happens he has me, he will continue to keep me close enough to always feel the warmth of his robe even when I am at the coldest moments of my life...

Hiding (Bonus Track)

Long & Lost

Finding me Again..