Dust Storm 

My legs ache, and my head throbs while my lungs fill up with some un wanted dust particles of the day.
My mind screams, " I'm tired, take me to the nearest beach and lets disappear into the mass crowd of strangers. Let's forget all you have to do today, jump into the car and let's just go!"

Dogs barking, phones ringing, texts chiming, kids laughing, TVs blaring, and the door bell snaps me back into my unwelcome reality.

 I notice over the UPS drivers shoulder that the wind is starting to kick up.
Maybe today this dry desert will get some long awaited rain.

 I close the door and my thoughts drift off again to the white beaches with turquoise water that I sat on too long ago.

I think what pulled my attention to distant memories today was the moment I first looked outside this morning.
It was when I looked up into this mornings sky, that it reminded me of the water around the Island of Saint Thomas, that sits in middle of the Caribbean. The pale clouds reminded me of the white sanded beaches that make up the shores of Nassau.

 Dreaming while awake is a bit counter productive don't you think?

This week I am on my own vacation of sorts. I have created my very own Island get away the (stay cation). I get to disappear on the island of house hold projects, dirty laundry, house cleaning, animal chores, bills and lets not forget cleaning the pool. I would say this vacation of mine will not recharge any batteries and provide some much needed rest but what the heck that's why we have sleep right?

I can hear the wind outside again. I step outside to look for rain when I hear thunder and lightening that reminds me of my trips to Florida so I close my eyes and I am transported there.
I am sitting around my brothers backyard and I can hear the laughter of children.
I can see my precious brothers smile as we share stories of the past. I hear his wife announcing that dinner is ready and as I look up, I see her beautiful smile through the kitchen window.

I wipe my cheek and look up assuming the rain has started to fall. My disappointment sets in when I realize its only my tears of longing.

Lightening snaps and thunder shakes the skies. I hear a roar over head and I know the sound is only a plane flying off to some unknown destination.

Maybe it's headed to Oregon, where I could be sitting at the table out front of my other brothers home while watching my nephews ride bikes. I can smell his cigar and see the ice melt in his cocktail.
I can see his flowers blooming and the colors are a vibrant purple. I laugh thinking of the sound he makes when he giggles while he recalls a joke from earlier that day. His giggles intensify while he attempts to deliver the joke as well as he heard it earlier in the day. The joke always falling a bit flat but we laugh anyway at his efforts.

I hear my beautiful son call out for food and I am again snapped back into my day and the chores that lie ahead.

While I dust over the pictures of my family I feel a deep appreciation for my position as wife and mother. I feel overwhelmed by sadness, loss, joy, and all that God has done for me.
I am at peace with my choices as I pick up speed wiping away the dust that has found its way into my home. Cartoons play in the background while my son sits teasing the dogs at the breakfast table.

 I look up at some transparent place of gratitude, Tears fall but so does the rain. It fell all day today, So did the rain...

Hope

Hope Is A Thing That For Some People Can Be Air itself or To Others Can Take On The Very Heart Beat That Sustains Them.

With Hope I Feel Like I Can Arrive At Any Destination But Without It I'm Truly Lost...

Now therefore, do not be afraid. I will provide for support you and your little ones. And he comforted them imparting cheer, hope, strength and spoke to their hearts kindly.

Gen 50:21 amp

My soul, wait only upon God and silently submit to Him; for my hope and expectation are from Him

Psalm 62:5

You are my hiding place and my shield; I hope in Your word

psalm32:7 91:11

I wait for the Lord, I expectantly wait, and in His word do I hope

Psalm 130:5 amp

MIDNIGHT STARS

Busy Mind, Numb Heart, Blurred Vision 
Corrupt Thoughts. Giant Keeps Telling Me Over and Over Again, Girl you Will Never Win but the Voice of Truth Says Do not Be Afraid, Listen to the Voice of Jesus, Let Him Lead You...
Why is the Youth Wasted on the Young? What a Time of Wonder and Beauty that Goes un noticed By our eyes
Look up! Look Forward, Never Back...
When I Look up at First I see the Vast Darkness but Then I see All the Stars and All The Possibility. 
I guess I find My Hope In All That I can't See...
Heb 11:1

A Child Journey

A Childs Journey

Recently during a Sunday morning church service, I watched a small child walk up the steps of the musicians platform. As the little boy walked up the steps I noticed his little head was tilted upward toward his goal. His goal I believed to be was the musicians that sounded like something from heaven. 
He never stumbled, he never wavered, he just climbed up, further and further to his goal. When this small child of maybe 2yrs of age reached his goal he raised his hands to the heavens and celebrated with a huge smile plastered across his face. The child then turned around and put his head down, looked back from where he came from and began his journey back to the beginning from where he started, but this time he needed to hold on to the railing to go back, all the while being unsure of his steps. The little boy reached the bottom but on his face was no smile of celebration but a look of un fulfillment. 
In a flash of a moment the little boy decided the beginning was not for him so he with a blissful smile headed back up again with no help from the railing but with a focused determination for the top step. 
So with his eyes lifted high he began his journey and again when he arrived he celebrated with dance and praise with his arms held high!

Revelation: when we keep our eyes on Jesus and Heavenly things our journey is easier, we reach our goal with joy and praise. when we look back we must hold onto earthly things to get us through. 
What are you or I holding on to that we need to let go of? What must it take to turn our faces around to heaven and to achieve our goals?
 Matthew 18:3 says to become like the children, trusting, loving, forgiving, to turn about.

Let us raise our heads toward heaven and climb toward him! Not staying focused on the

journey or the struggle of it but Jesus, and him alone...

30 Days of GoodBye

30 Days of Goodbye

Should this feel like 30 days of goodbye?
Or Like being dropped off at Circus Themed summer camp or worse yet, the door of a rehab. What a circus! "Step right up to 28 days to break the bad habit of loving each other badly!"

Do I chase after the car or hold on to the camp councilor of hope and despair? 
I will stand watching as the car pulls away from the shelter of my heart.

Day One: A decision has been made and the junkies of denial, misery and devotion have agreed. 
Its been the day of disbelief and if I admitted it, 
even some relief.

I'm holding the secrets of my heart as you storm the gates with your sword of angry desperation but I hold my ground of righteous denial ..

Doubt, Tears and Fear....I'm going to pick up the phone, I'm going to send a text a message of my love and pour out my worry just to hear your voice, the voice that might calm the possibilities of what if?

Day 2 : Today I worshiped my father,  I am on my way to hear the news from yet another future keeper. First stop Java for the nerves, make it large with an extra shot of courage please.
This drive seems quiet, but so alive with noise and I am glad it drowns the sounds of my solitude.
"Father I will trust in you and for all that has been written for us"
Us?...

Tonight I feel your spirit floating around me, I feel your thoughts swimming my way, they consume the air in which I struggle 
to take in. 
My spirit woke me as it called out for you...Its early the birds are fast asleep and I hear your heart from miles away. I will lay here and take your memory in. Rest calls my name...

 I've cleansed scraped knees, bound wounded elbows, wiped tears and hugged out the bruised pride of our beauty leaving no band aid for my aching soul...

Day 3:
I think the need to clarify what has been left behind during the following 30days far out weighs the consequences of a broken rules of our rehab.  So today lets see each other, laugh, cry, tap our feet to the rhythm of our hearts? but let's not look ahead to tomorrow but let us stay in the moment of us.
Maybe if we hold our gaze long enough the distractions of the storm will settle, the blue skies will appear long enough to see some amazing stars

Day 4: Is Day 1: And so it all begins again consequences and rules of hello's & goodbyes.

To Be Continued...

A Childs Dream

(Taylour's Dream)

I approached her in the wee hours of the morning, it was in an open meadow of beautiful flowers, filled with beauty fluttering all around us.

Her shoulder length hair was illuminated by amber light streaming through the branches of nearby trees. She was adorned with her classic smile that we all know her for. 

Her beauty was hard not to admire.

 Sickness was nowhere to be found! 

As I approached her she welcomed me with, "Hello SunShine, Come sit with me and see the blue birds overhead" I said, but I see nothing. Her reply was just close your eyes and believe and you will see the blue birds flying over us" and I did...

She was beautiful her message to me was this; There are a lot of ugly things in the world but if you choose to take a moment to find your faith, your eyes will see the beauty instead of all the ugly...